Cyberangels ^Å^ Support

As many other families in their situation had already learned, the most useful person to talk to is another adoptive parent. But unless you already know some adoptive parents, finding them can be a real headache. The Net makes that simple. It is often the quickest mechanism to locate another adoptive parent sharing the same or similar challenges at the same time.

Asked to help me find reliable adoption information on the Internet, Barbara also reviewed them for this book. I appreciate her help and support.

Adoption.com is the largest of all the adoption websites. In its first month of operation alone, more than a million people logged onto the site. Among its many options are family chat groups, parenting information, links to adoption-related professionals, and a World of Love page with information on international adoption. It also has its own search engine, Adoption Search, which helps locate birth relatives. (This can prove very useful where serious medical issues arise and a "blood relative" could help.)

Another useful site is The National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC) site . NAIC is a service of the Children's Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. It was set up by Congress to provide information and other assistance on all aspects of adoption. NAIC site contains an extensive database of laws, expert adoption agencies and other adoption-related information and services. (It's just one of the terrific Federal government sites available to parents.)

I asked Mary Sullivan, NAIC's project director and the person responsible for the NAIC site, to describe some of the highlights of the site. She was particularly proud of their new "An Adoption Guide to the Internet" with almost 120 pages of Internet listings in 10 major categories and 34 sub-headings. The "Adoption Guide" is designed to help adoptive families, adopted adults and their families (both birth and adoptive parents), as well as adoption professionals, locate relevant sites quickly and efficiently.

She explained that the NAIC site is a primary information resource for prospective adoptive parents by providing them with "how to" information. It is also a wonderful resource for adopted adults interested in birth parent search issues, as well as birth relatives interested in reuniting with children who had been placed for adoption. (Its database of adoption documents is available online without charge, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.)

I have personally found the NAIC site to be particularly helpful to parents of adoptive and fosterchildren with special needs, as well. My best friend, Lanell and her husband, Clarence, adopted two half-siblings, at birth. Kelsey (my God-daughter) is 5 years old and Kylie is 3 years old. (Kylie was originally considered a foster child, until the parental rights were severed, and she could be adopted.) Lanell and Clarence faced a special problem, since both Kelsey and Kylie were born drug-dependent because of the birth mother's drug use. (The doctors suspected that Kelsey was cocaine-dependent and Kylie was heroin-dependent.)

Parenting these children required that Lanell understand the effects, both short term and long term, of drug dependency on their development and behavior. I turned, as usual to the Internet for information Lanell needed. I found everything we needed at the NAIC site, and shared that information with her. It made a big difference.

In addition to websites devoted to adoptive parenting, the online services have special adoptive special interest areas as well. AOL has scheduled chat groups for adopted parents. These take place at 7:30 p.m., 9:00 p.m., and 10:30 p.m. EST. Typical topics include: parenting toddlers/pre-schoolers who were adopted, and a China Chat (for those who adopted from China, a popular source for adoptive children). (To get there AOL subscribers use the keyword "adoption." Then, click on "Parenting Conference Center." Once there, choose "The Back Yard.")

In addition to those reviewed by Barbara, I found an adoption site that I recommend, as well. Adoptive Families of America , the publisher of Adoptive Families magazine, has a great site for adoptive families and families of foster children.

Many of the adoption sites also have good information for fosterparents. My favorite site devoted exclusively to fosterparenting is Foster Parenting Community. It contains great resources and has recently added a network page for other fosterparenting associations to use when collaborating and sharing resources.

Most of the parenting websites we reviewed also offer good discussions and chats on adoption and fosterparenting. Many of them also have special areas for children with special needs, which is helpful to some adoptive parents. You should check each of them to find your favorites. When you find things about those sites you want to share with other parents, feel free to post them at the familyguidebook.com site.