ask parry, questions & answers

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Dear Parry,

I see television specials about the dangers of the Internet. But I also hear how important the Internet is to our children's education.

Can we really keep our kids safe online, or is "safe surfing" an oxymoron?

Is it better to just keep them off-line altogether?

 

A concerned parent

Dear Concerned Parent:

The greatest risk our children face in connection with the Internet is being denied access. They need the Internet for school, careers and life. If we deprive them of the Internet we are depriving them of important educational, communication and job skills.

I recently answered another parent's e-mail who wanted to know what the real risks are online. You can read that by clicking here. But you should know that most online risks are easily prevented. Even when predators are trying to lure our children and teens into off-line meetings, the experts know that in each and every single case the children and teens go to the meeting willingly. They may think they are meeting a cute 16-year-old boy, instead of the 47-year-old predator who was posing as that boy, but they know they are meeting a stranger nonetheless. (To learn more about how online predators operate, check out our section on Cyberstalkers and Cyberpredators.)

But, you don't have to let your child have access to the entire Internet until they are ready for it. You also don't have to allow them to have instant messaging, e-mail or be able to chat without your permission. How much of the Internet you allow your children to access is your choice. You're still the parent.

Just make sure you loosen their restrictions as they prove they are worthy of your trust.

Good luck,
Parry

Other than risks posed by people trying to meet our children off-line (which I consider the most serious of all dangers our children can face online discussed in depth in the "Cyberstalkers and Cyberpredators" section), there are many less serious risks our children face online.

These include access to information that may be inappropriate for children, sites that sell contraband or advocate illegal activities, and sites that pose risks to their privacy.

Even though pornography and sexual content are receiving most of the attention, there are other kinds of inappropriate information our children can easily access. These include tobacco and alcohol advertisements, bomb-building sites, sites that advocate taking drugs, as well as sites that contain violence and gore, misinformation, and hate literature. Some sites even sell guns, drugs, poisons, or alcohol, or let your kids gamble online. Others collect and sell private information about your kids and your family, and use unfair interactive marketing strategies that target cybertots. These things may be far more dangerous to your children than being exposed to sexually explicit content.

And, since we're here to discuss risks and how to avoid them, we need to warn you about the dangers your children (and their friends) may pose to others in cyberspace, including you.

They may give out your credit card information or passwords, share private information about you and your family, buy things and charge them to you, infringe copyrights, commit computer crimes (including hacking), and access, lose, or destroy your files.

In some cases, they may not even know they're doing it, but the dangers are just as real.

Finally, there are risks that viruses and hackers pose to your computer. Lots of things to think about. But I provide help, solutions, and tips for all of them in this section. Don't worry. (You'll notice I say that a lot. Is it working?)